|
|
|
Frauen verstehen einfach alles falsch...
| |
Ein Typ erwacht im Krankenhaus aus dem Koma. Am Bett steht ein Doktor und fragt: „Gut, dass es Ihnen besser geht. Aber ich muss Sie einfach mal etwas fragen: schwere Knochenbrüche, dicke Veilchen, Blutergüsse auf dem ganzen Körper, ein Milzriss... Sind Sie in eine schwere Kneipenschlägerei geraten?“
Der Mann schüttelt den Kopf: „Nein, das ist beim Golfspielen mit meiner Frau passiert. Wir waren gerade bei einem schwierigen Loch und haben beide unsere Bälle auf eine benachbarte Kuhweide geschlagen. Wir suchen also unsere Bälle und da sehe ich im Hintern einer Kuh etwas Weißes. Ich geh also hin, hebe den Schwanz der Kuh und sehe im Arsch des Tieres einen kleinen Golfball mit dem Monogramm meiner Frau. Ich dreh mich zu meiner Frau um, immer noch den Kuhschwanz hochhaltend, und rufe: ‚Hey, der sieht aus wie deiner!’ - Was dann passierte, weiß ich nicht mehr..."
Stehen 2 Männer bei strömenden Regen auf dem Golfplatz, sagt der eine zum anderen: "Unglaublich, meine Frau wollte mit mir bei dem Wetter einkaufen gehen."
Jesus und der Heilige Geist spielen Golf.
| |
Jesus schlägt. Der Ball bleibt 5 cm vor dem Loch liegen. Da kommt eine Maus aus dem Loch gekrochen und frisst den Ball. Plötzlich kommt eine Schlange und verschlingt die Maus. Da stößt ein Adler vom Himmel herab und greift sich die Schlange. Plötzlich ein Gewitter, ein Blitz zuckt herab und trifft den Adler. Der Adler stürzt zu Boden - genau in das Golf-Loch. Sagt der Heilige Geist zu Jesus: "Wollen wir jetzt Golf spielen oder herumalbern?"
[link]
[link]
Unmotivierte und undiziplinierte Golfbälle sind der häufigste Grund für eine schlechte Runde. Drohungen und Beschimpfungen helfen nicht immer. Lernen Sie von unseren amerikanischen Freunden, ein Exempel zu statuieren. Greifen Sie durch und verschaffen Sie sich Respekt! Hier sehen Sie, wie das geht! [link]
Die berühmte Robin William Nummer
| |
Grandios wie Robin Williams das Besäufnis mit einem Schotten beschreibt. [link]
Ein Manager wurde im Flugzeug neben ein kleines Mädchen gesetzt.
Der Manager wandte sich ihr zu und sagte: "Wollen wir uns ein wenig unterhalten? Ich habe gehört, dass Flüge schneller vorüber gehen, wenn man mit einem Mitpassagier redet."
Das kleine Mädchen, welches eben sein Buch geöffnet hatte, schloss es langsam und sagte zum Manager: "Über was möchten Sie reden?"
"Oh, ich weiß nicht", antwortete der Manager. "Wie wär's über Atomstrom?"
"OK", sagte sie, "dies wäre ein interessantes Thema! Aber erlauben Sie mir zuerst eine Frage: Ein Pferd, eine Kuh und ein Reh essen alle dasselbe Zeug: Gras. Aber das Reh scheidet kleine Kügelchen aus, die Kuh einen flachen Fladen und das Pferd produziert Klumpen getrockneten Grases. Warum, denken Sie, dass dies so ist?"
Der Manager denkt darüber nach und sagt: "Nun, ich habe keine Idee."
Darauf antwortet das kleine Mädchen: "Fühlen Sie sich wirklich kompetent genug, über Atomstrom zu reden, wenn Sie nicht einmal über Scheiße Bescheid wissen?"
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "How was the honeymoon?" "Oh Mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic ...", then suddenly she burst out crying .. "But mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean all these awful four letter words! You've got to take me home... PLEASE MAMA!" "Sarah, Sarah!" her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT four letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you mama" wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME PLEASE!!" "Darling! Baby! You must tell me what has you so upset! Tell your mother these horrible four letter words!" Sobbing the bride said, "Oh Mama... he used words like dust, wash, iron, cook..." "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother
"BMW thinks of everything!"
| |
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir," says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?," asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger. "Well, what on the God's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger. "Fookin' Jaysus," says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!"
A golfer came to a 434yard par 4 hole.
| |
He took out his driver and hit his ball as hard as he could. The ball sailed on the wind higher and further then any previous shot he had hit in the last thirty years. It landed 50 yards short of the green and bounced on the hard fairway over a bunker and rolled towards the pin and into the hole. The golfer could not believe it and said "I would give up half my sex life to be able to repeat that shot." A voice said "Alright it's a deal, half your sex life." The golfer teed his ball and repeated his shot with the same result. The voice then asked "How often do you have sex?" The golfer replied "About twelve times a year."
"That's not very often" said the voice. The golfer said "I don't know. It's not bad for a priest with a very small parish."
A guy's boat capsizes ...
| |
and he swims ashore to a desert island. On the beach lies a beautiful woman, her ample bust falling out of a tight wetsuit. She tells him she'll grant him any wish he'd like. "I'd kill for a cigarette," he says. She zips down the top of the wetsuit a little, reaches into her bosom and fishes out a smoke. He enjoys. "Anything else?" she says. "A cold beer," he says. She zips the top down a little further, reaches in and comes up with a beer. He's relaxing with his beer and his smoke when she says to him, "Would you like to play around?" He looks at her excitedly and blurts out, "You got a set of clubs in there, too?"
A man hits his golf ball ...
| |
into a field of buttercups, the golfer very carefully looks for the ball careful not to disturb the beautiful flowers. He finds the ball and takes a drop because he does not want to harm the buttercups. Mother Nature is so impressed she appears and tells the man how pleased she is with him and as a reward he will receive one pound of butter a week for the rest of his life. The golfer says "That's fine but where were you on the last hole when I was in the pussy willows".
Four gentlemen go out ...
| |
...to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son," says one, 'Has made quite a name for himself in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be outdone, allows how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man's son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the first tee box, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in. "To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son has turned out", he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's a practising homosexual. But, on the bright side, he must be very good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars and a big pile of stock certificates."
Last week we were playing this hole ...
| |
and one of the other guys hit a humongous hook that hit a car's windshield. Not wanting to get in trouble we quickly finished the round. Coming up 18 we see a cop at the green. When we get there he asks, "Did any of you guys hit a hook on Number X". The culprit admits it.
The cop then says, "Well your ball went through the windshield causing the 80 year old driver to have a heart attack and die."
The culprit then asks the cop, "Well what should I do."
The Cop replies, "Well I would try opening my stance a little!"
Credit to Scottish Golf Society [link]
My neighbour lives on her own ...
| |
and has set herself up as a handyperson to carry out small decorating jobs. She visited the local golf club and spoke to the secretary about work. The secretary decided the porch of the clubhouse could use a coat of paint and showed my neighbour where she could find paint and brushes. The secretary set off for his daily round of golf but he had only reached the 4th tee when my neighbour joined him and said "I've finished the painting and even managed two coats. By the way it wasn't a porch it was a ferrari."
Four married guys go golfing.
| |
During the 4th hole the following conversation took place:
First Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to play the hole when they realised that the fourth guy Has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth Guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off, I shut Off my alarm, give the wife a budge and say, 'Golf Course or Intercourse?' So she says, 'Wear your sweater.'"
Harry and Bill had been playing golf together ever since they were little boys. They were now in their 90s and still playing golf. As they had done every Monday morning since they were in their teens, Harry and Bill left home early to go to the golf course. At about 3:00 p.m., Bills wife began to worry. Bill was always home from Monday golf by 2:00 p.m. By 4:00 p.m., she was really worried. By 5:00 p.m., she was frantic. At 6:00 p.m., when Bill finally strolled in, she was nearly hysterical. "Where have you been!" she exclaimed. "Well," Bill said with sadness, "Harry died of old age out on the course today." "Oh," said his wife glumly, "thats why you were late." "Yeah," said Bill, "It was hit one shot, drag Harry....hit one shot, drag Harry."
Three men, Father, Son and Grandfather
| |
...go out to play a round of golf.
Just before the son is ready to tee off, this pretty looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didnt turn up and asks if she can join them. The guys say "fine", since she is a really beautiful woman.
The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I dont care what the three of you do, swear, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just dont try to coach me on my game". The men say OK and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her arse, as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts smashing her oponents, parring every hole. The foursome get to the 18th and she has a 12 foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You lads have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. Ive never shot a par round before, and Im going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget."
The guys think .....what a deal!
The young boy walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Miss, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup."
The father walks up and says, "Dont listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup."
The Grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says
"Thats a Gimme."
It was a sunny Saturday morning
| |
..., and Mike was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker - "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the mens tee, please!" Mike was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement - "Would the man on the womens tee kindly back up the mens tee!" Mike had had enough. He shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!" Getting Your Priorities in Order.
A guy is at the driving range ...
| |
having a heck of a day. Everything thing he tries to hit he tops, balls only going about 20' and burning worms the whole way. Finally disgusted, he turns to the pro on the range and mutters," If I don't connect with this one, I'm gonna jump in that lake and drown myself!"
Pro looks at him and says" I don't think you can do it."
"Why not?" He asks.
Pro says " I don't think you can keep your head down that long!"
A guy is having an affair ...
| |
with his secretary. They take the afternoon off and head to a local motel. As evening approaches, she asks him how he will explain his late arrival to his wife. He thinks for a moment and then asks the secretary to take his shoes outside and scruff them up a bit in the grass. When she returns the shoes are covered with green stains and a blades of grass.
The guy gets home and his wife says: "You're late. Where have you been?"
He replies: "You know that beautiful new secretary I hired? I'm having an affair with her. We spent the afternoon together at a motel."
She looks him over suspiciously, from head to toe. Her eyes lock in on his feet as she stares at the shoes.
"Don't lie to me." she says. "It's obvious you've been at the golf course all day."
Bob Hope was on the Oprah Winfrey Show
| |
..., and bragged that despite his 97 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. After the show, Oprah said, "Bob, if Im not being too forward, Id love to have sex with an older man. Lets go back to my place." So they go back to her place and have great sex. Afterwards, Bob says, "If you think that was good, let me sleep for a half hour, and we can have even better sex. But while Im sleeping, hold my testicles in your left hand, and my penis in your right hand." She looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Okay." He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex. Then Bob says, "Oprah, that was wonderful. But if you let me sleep for an hour, we can have the best sex yet. But again, hold my testicles in your left hand, and my penis in your right hand." Oprah once again says, "Great, Bob, but tell me, does my holding your testicles in my left hand and your penis in my right stimulate you while youre sleeping?"
Der Glücksfrosch, für Frauen.
| |
Eine Frau war am Golfen, als sie den Ball in den Wald schlug. Sie ging in den Wald, um nach dem Ball zu suchen und fand einen Frosch, gefangen in einem Netz.
Der Frosch sagte zu ihr: Wenn Du mich aus dem Netz befreist, so will ich Dir 3 Wünsche erfüllen!
Die Frau befreite den Frosch und der Frosch sagte: Danke, doch ich vergaß zu erwähnen, daß es
bei der Erfüllung der Wünsche eine Bedingung gibt. Denn was immer Du Dir wünschst, wird auch Dein Ehemann bekommen, und zwar 10 mal besser.
Die Frau sagte: Das ist okay.
Für ihren ersten Wunsch wollte sie die schönste Frau der Welt sein.
Der Frosch warnte sie: Vergiß nicht, daß Dein Mann durch diesen Wunsch der hübscheste Mann
der Welt sein wird, ein Adonis, dem die Frauen in Scharen hinterher laufen werden.
Die Frau antwortete: Das ist schon in Ordnung, denn ich werde die schönste Frau der Welt sein und er wird nur Augen für mich haben.
Sie wurde die schönste Frau der Welt!!!!
Mit ihrem zweiten Wunsch wollte sie die reichste Frau der Welt werden.
Der Frosch sagte: Dann wird Dein Mann der reichste Mann der Welt sein und er wird 10 mal reicher sein als Du.
Die Frau antwortete: Das ist schon in Ordnung, denn was mein ist, ist auch sein und was sein ist, ist auch mein.
So wurde Sie die reichste Frau der Welt!!!!
Nun fragte der Frosch nach ihrem dritten Wunsch und sie sagte: Ich will einen leichten Herzinfarkt haben.
Und die Moral von der Geschichte????
Frauen sind clevere Biester!!! Lege Dich niemals mit ihnen an!!!!
Und jetzt der Glücksfrosch, für Männer.
| |
Ein Mann nimmt sich einen Tag frei und beschließt, zum Golfplatz zu fahren. Er ist beim zweiten Loch, als er einen Frosch neben dem Grün sitzen sieht. Er denkt nicht darüber nach und will gerade schlagen, als er folgendes hört: "Quaak... 9er Eisen".
Der Mann sieht sich um und sieht niemanden.
"Quaak... 9er Eisen".
Er sieht den Frosch an und beschließt, dem Frosch zu beweisen, dass dieser Unrecht hat. Er steckt seinen anderen Schläger weg und nimmt den, den ihm der Frosch empfohlen hatte.
Bam! Er trifft.
Der Mann ist geschockt. Er sagt zum Frosch: "Du bist sicher so ein Glücksfrosch, oder?"
Der Frosch antwortet: "Quaak... Glücksfrosch".
Der Mann beschließt, ihn zum nächsten Loch mitzunehmen.
"Was meinst Du, Frosch?" fragt der Mann.
"Quaak... 3er Holz."
Der Mann nimmt sich einen 3 Holz und... Bam! Eingelocht.
Der Mann ist erstaunt und weiß nicht mehr, was er sagen soll. Am Ende des Tages hat er die beste Partie Golf seines Lebens gespielt und fragt den Frosch: "OK, wo gehen wir jetzt hin?"
Der Frosch antwortet: "Quaak.... Las Vegas."
Sie fahren nach Las Vegas und der Kerl fragt: "Und Frosch, was jetzt?" "Quaak... 3000 $, schwarz 6".
Es ist eine Chance von eins zu einer Million, dass der Mann gewinnt, aber nach der Golfpartie denkt er sich,was soll's.
Bam! Haufenweise Geld wird ihm über den Tisch zugeschoben.
Der Mann nimmt seinen Gewinn, begleicht seine Schulden von einer missglückten Grundstücksspekulation
und fragt den Frosch: "OK, Frosch, was nun?"
Der Frosch sagt, "Quaak... Washington."
Sie gehen nach Washington und der Kerl fragt: "OK, Frosch, und jetzt?" Der Frosch sagt: "Quaak...Run for president."
Die Chance ist noch viel kleiner als eins zu einer Million, aber der Mann macht es und wird Präsident.
Der Mann sitzt schon lange in seinem Büro im Weißen Haus, als er den Frosch fragt: "Frosch, ich weiß nicht, wie ich dir danken soll. Du hast das ganze Geld für mich gewonnen und mir diesen guten Job besorgt; ich bin Dir ewig dankbar." Der Frosch antwortet: "Quaak....Lass mich Dich küssen.."
Warum nicht, denkt sich der Mann, weil der Frosch soviel für ihn getan hat, verdient er es.
Mit einem Kuß verändert sich der Frosch in eine hübsche junge Frau Anfang 20, mit einem herrlichen Mund....
"Und so, Mr. Starr, kam das Mädchen in mein Zimmer", sagte Bill Clinton...
A man went to Confession and said to the priest, "Forgive me, Father. I used the F-word this week."
"Ah, my son. Tell me the circumstances which caused you to use the F-word. After all, I can understand a person being provoked into using it."
"Well, I was golfing and I had just hit a beautiful tee-shot that sailed straight as an arrow for 280 yards, but then suddenly sliced into the woods."
"That is when you used the F-word. I can appreciate your frustration, my son, as I am a golfer myself."
"No, I stayed cool at that point, Father. I then hit a perfect shot out of the woods, but suddenly it landed in the sand trap."
"Now, I can understand you saying the F-word at that point."
"No, Father, I was calm even then. I got out my sand wedge and hit a perfect shot out of the trap right at the pin, but suddenly the ball stopped an inch from the cup."
"Ah, that is when you used the F-word. How frustrating."
"No, Father, I was still cool."
"YOU MEAN YOU MISSED THE F***ING PUTT?!?!??!"
...met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six oclock in the morning, with beer on your breath and lipstick on your collar?" "There is," he replied. "Id like some breakfast."
...were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in obvious agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. Im a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if youd allow me," she told him earnestly. "Ummph, oooh, noooo... Ill be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage his privates. She then asked him, "How does that feel?" He replied still in agony, "It feels great, but it doesnt do a thing for my thumb. It still hurts like hell!"
A man was about to tee off on the golf course when he felt a tap on his shoulder and a man handed him a card that read "I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please?" The first man angrily gave the card back, and communicated that "No, he may NOT play through, and that his handicap did not give him such a right." He then teed up his ball, and with a mighty swing of his pitching wedge lobbed the ball right on the green for a par 3. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball, laying him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around & saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up 4 fingers.
Dave had felt guilty all day long
| |
..., no matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldnt. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while hed hear that soothing voice trying to reassure him: "Dave, dont worry about it. You werent the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you wont be the last. And youre single. Let it go!". But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Dave, Youre a vet...."
A golfer who was well into his golden years had a lifelong ambition to play one hole at Pebble Beach, California, the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the green that is on a spit of land that juts out off the coast.
It was something he had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball always fell short, into the water. Because of this he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick.
One year he went out to Pebble Beach to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old cut ball and said a silent prayer. Before he hit it, however, a powerful voice from above said: WAIT ... REPLACE THAT OLD
BALL WITH A BRAND-NEW BALL. He complied, with some slight misgiving, despite the fact that the Lord seemed to be implying that He was going to let him finally achieve his lifelong ambition.
As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again: WAIT ... STEP BACK ... TAKE A PRACTICE SWING. So he stepped back and took a practice swing. The voice boomed out again: TAKE ANOTHER PRACTICE SWING. He did. Silence followed. Then the voice spoke out again: PUT BACK THE OLD BALL.
The Gorilla
The pro at the country club was rude. When he beat you on the golf course he not only took your money he then told you everything you did wrong and suggested that you would never be able to hit the ball out of your own shadow.
One of the members had enough. So we bought a gorilla and trained it to play golf.
He then set up a game with the pro, $1000 a side with automatics.
The day of the match arrived and all parties were ready. The first hole was a par five of 575 yards. The pro teed off splitting the fairway some 270 yards out.
The gorilla lumbered up to the tee. Placed the ball on the ground and made a mighty swing. The ball rocketed off the clubface 100, 200, 300 400 ,500, 575 yards and stopped 5 inches from the cup.
The pro just about dumped in his pants.If this was an indication of the way things were going to go then he would never live in down. He immediately settled the bet, remembering that he had urgent business across town.
As they walked from the tee the pro asked, "How does he putt"
The same as he drives, 575 yards, was the answer.
A young man asked an old rich man
| |
...how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which Id accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wifes father died and left us two million dollars."
An older couple is playing
| |
...in the annual club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6-inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses; they lose the match. On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, "I cannot believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my dick." The wife just looked over at her husband, smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!"
The room was full of pregnant women
| |
...and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldnt hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
A couple met while on holiday and fell in love. At the end of their vacation, they began to discuss how they would continue the relationship. "I need to be totally honest with you, Joan, Im a golf maniac. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf." "Well, since were being so honest with each other, I too have a confession," she said. "Im a hooker." Jack pondered this for a moment, and then said, "Hmm, well, its probably because your right elbow isnt close to your side on the downswing."
The golfer stood at the edge of the water and attempted to pitch the ball over it. It went in. A voice boomed out from above.... "USE AN OLD BALL". He dropped a new ball and put that one in the water. The voice again boomed out from above ....."USE AN OLD BALL". He proceeded to hit a half dozen brand new balls into the water. Each time the voice boomed out from above "USE AN OLD BALL". Finally he looked up and said "Whats an old ball?"
Jesus, Moses, and an old man were shooting to a par 3 island green. Moses stepped to the tee box, swung, and missed the green by 1 foot. It quickly sank into the deep surrounding water. Jesus stepped up to the tee box and said, "Moses, watch this!" Jesus swung the club, and his ball took off like a rocket. However, it too was tracking short. Just before it fell 6 inches short of the green and into the water, a frog miraculously leaped from under a lily pad, head-butted the ball, and re-directed it onto the green and 1 foot from the cup. "Great shot!" said the old man. Frustrated, Moses said, "Thats just not fair Jesus...you cheated!" This time it was the old mans turn. He swung the club weakly. Just as his ball was to fall 50 feet short of the green and into the water, the same frog leaped into the air and head-butted the ball. Just as the ball was reaching its apex, an eagle miraculously dropped from the sky, snatched the ball into his beak, and dropped it straight into the cup. "Great shot!" said Jesus. "Thats it," said Moses, "This is the last time Im playing with you and your dad!"
An elderly golfer of eighty, Mr. Jones, was depressed that he could no longer see where his golf balls were going. "Ive got an idea," said the Starter, "Ill put you with a new club member, Mr. Smith. Hes ninety, but he has great eyesight." At the first tee, Mr. Jones hit his ball squarely on the club face. It felt like a great shot. "Did you see it?" asked Jones. "Yeah, I sure did," replied Smith. "Then where did it go?" asked Jones. "I dont remember," said Smith.
Why did the man bring 2 pair of pants to the golf course?
In case he got a hole in one!
The Barn, the Man, and the Wife
| |
One day a man was playing golf with his wife. After 17 holes, he was having the best round of his life. On the 18th tee, he shanked the ball badly. When the ball finally stopped rolling, it landed directly behind a barn adjacent to the 18th fairway. After several minutes of brooding, a brilliant idea came to him. "Honey," he said to his wife, "If we open the doors at both ends of this barn, I can shoot the ball through. If I hit it just right, I can reach the green." The man opened the door nearest the ball. His wife opened the door at the opposite end. After several waggles, the man hit the ball with all of his might. It flew through the first door, ricocheted off a low hanging beam, and struck his wife in the head.....instantly killing her." After several years of intense grief, the man decided to start playing golf again. His first game back, the man was paired up with a priest. After 17 flawless holes, the man again found himself with his ball behind the barn. "I know what you can do here," said the priest. "If you open the first door, and I open the other door, you can play this shot through." With a shriek, the man howled, "I cant do this Father, my grief is too great!" "What happened?" said the priest." "Well Father," said the man, "I bogeyed this hole the last time I played it."
A threesome was playing the 3rd hole when a single caught up to them. "May I play with you fellows," asked the man, "I will hardly be a bother." Impressed by the newcomers courteous behavior, the threesome heartily agreed. Hole after hole, the man let the others tee off first, even though he had the privilege every time. "What a great man," they all thought. He even gave away his last cigar to one of the men. On the 17th hole, a funeral procession passed by on the adjoining public road. Just when the man could do no more right in the threesomes eyes, he stopped in the middle of his swing, took off his hat, and bowed his head in silence. "You are truly a great man to show your respect to the dead!" cried the threesome. Its the least I could do," said the man, "I was married to her for 17 years."
A guy was on a holiday in Mexico
| |
...and rented a car to go to the nearest golfcourse for a round of golf. When he returned the car, the man in the car rental agency noticed that the golfer had dropped something in the front seat and said: "Excuse me, sir, but are these yours?" "Yes, thanks, those are my tees." "What do you do with them?" "I put my balls on them when I drive..."
Watching from the Club house overlooking
| |
...the 10th green, we saw a foursome approaching. Having marked their balls, suddenly one of the guys fell down and the three others started a fist fight. The Golf Captain stormed out from the Club house to separate the fighting men. "Why are you fighting?" he asked "You see," said one of them, "my partner had a stroke and died just now, and these buggers want to include it on the scorecard.".
A man and wife were playing
| |
...in their clubs annual "Guys and Dolls" tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife had insisted. On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted time on the ladies tee, he decided to go ahead and hit his drive from the mens. Unfortunately, he misjudged his shot and his ball hit his wife in the back of the head, killing her instantly. At the hospital the doctor came to talk to the husband. "Mr. Davies, we found a golf ball lodged 3 inches into your wifes brain, which was the the cause of death. But, we have found something else that really puzzles us." "What is it?" asked Mr. Davies. "Well," said the doctor, "we also found a golf ball lodged 6 inches into her anal cavity." The husband dismissed the doctor with a wave of his hand "Oh, that was just my Mulligan!"
An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy
| |
...are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, theres a better one. At MacDougals, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a nice place. Then the Italian says, "Yeah, thats a nice bar, but where I come from, theres a better one. Over in Brooklyn, theres this place, Vinnys. At Vinnys, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar. Then the Polish guy says, "You think thats great? Where I come from, theres this place called Warshowskis. At Warshowskis, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "Thats fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Polish guy, "but it happened to my sister!"
Gods sitting up in heaven
| |
..., hes had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so hes decided to go on holiday. He calls all his friends up and they pop round to discuss a few suggestions.
"What about mars?" says one of them. "Nah, I went their 15,000 years ago," says God. "It was shit, no atmosphere, too dusty and there was a Lions convention in town that kept pissing me off".
"What about Pluto?" suggests another. "Nah, I went there about 10,000 years ago", says God "Absolutely freezing and none of the ski lifts were in operation".
"What about Mercury then?" says another. "Its nice but I went there about 5,000 years ago, didnt put any sunscreen on and nearly burnt my bollocks off it was that hot, never again" says God.
"Well what about Earth then?" suggests another. "You must be joking..." says God. "I went there about 2,000 years ago, shagged some Jewish bird and theyre still fucking talking about it!"
A stockbroker had made millions of dollars
| |
...for an Arabian oil sheik. The sheik was so pleased he offered her rubies, gold and a silver-plated Rolls Royce. She declined the gifts, telling him she had merely done her job. But the sheik insisted. "Well," the woman said, "Ive recently taken up golf. A set of golf clubs would be a fine gift."
Weeks went by. One morning the stockbroker received a letter from the sheik.
"So far I have bought you three golf clubs," it said, "but I hope you will not be disappointed because only two of them have swimming pools."
A couple of women were playing golf
| |
...one Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. Im a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if youd allow." "Ummph, oooh, nnooo, Ill be all right... Ill be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
She persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him "How does that feel?" To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
...How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
Only 2 minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 11 other guys.
But worst of all...
The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.
So cheer up...
Your life aint that bad.
A blonde went out to her mail box
| |
..., opened the door and looked in, then closed the door looked in the mail box again. She did this several times and her neighbor that was watching her said "you must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box." The blonde answered "no Im working on my computer and it keeps telling me that You have mail."
A young boy goes off to college
| |
..., but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him.
"Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?" Then he gets an idea. He calls his father.
"Dad," he says, "you wont believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"
"Thats absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "Ill get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.
"So hows Fido doing, son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, dad, hes talking up a storm," he says, "but you just wont believe this - theyve had such good results with this program, that theyve implemented a new one to teach the animals to READ!"
"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, Ill get him in the class."
...And his father sends the money.
At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited.
"Wheres Fido? I just cant wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, So, is your daddy still messin" around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street? "
The father says, "Oh, shit; I hope you SHOT that lyin son of a bitch!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"Thats my boy!"
Compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
respect her,
go to the ends
of the earth for her.....
How to impress a man:
Show up naked, bring food.
A bus stops and two Italian men get on
| |
They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. In this country we dont talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."
A cabbie picks up a Nun for a fare
| |
He decides to see if he can embarrass her. The cabby says: Sister, what do Nuns think of Oral sex? The Sister replies: A lot has changed in the church. We tend to think of Oral sex about the same way as masturbation. Its only acceptable as long as it doesnt violate the tenants of marriage. The cabby decides to press on: Sister what do you personally know about oral sex? The Sister replies: I have read about various techniques, but I am a little shy on the practical. The cabby senses an opportunity. Sister how would you like to practice on me?. She answers: Well, you must be Catholic and single. The cabby replies: Yes Sister I am. So they pull off the road, the driver moves to the back of the car, and the Nun gives him the most incredible oral sex he has ever had. The exhausted cabby moves to the front of the car and starts driving. He finally has to speak: Sister, that was the best Ive ever had, but I have to tell you something. I am actually Protestant and Im married. To which the Nun replies: Thats ok, my son, My name is Greg, and Im on my way to a costume party.
...was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincolns secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedys secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theatre named Kennedy.
Kennedy was shot in a car called Lincoln.
Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And heres the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or sex in quite sometime. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery rerry fass back to me." So she did. Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?" Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
...trying and failing to understand what New Zealanders are saying?
Just by following these easy steps and you too can hold a conversation with a New Zealander.
What you hear and what it really means:
BETTING : "Betting Gloves" are worn by betsmen in crucket.
BRIST : Part of the human anatomy between the "nick" and the "billy"
BUGGER : As in "mine is bugger than yours".
CHULLY BUN : Also known as an Esky
DIMMER KRETZ : Those who believe in democracy.
ERROR BUCK : Language spoken in countries like "Surria", "E-Jupp" and "Libernon".
EKKA DYMOCKS : University staff
GUESS : Flammable vapour used in stoves.
SENDLES : Thongs, open shoes
COLOUR : Terminator, murderer.
CUSS : Kiss
DUCK HID : Term of abuse directed mainly at males.
PHAR LAP : NZs famous horse which was actually christened "PHILLIP".
ERROR ROUTE : As in "Arnotts mulk error route buskets".
FITTER CHENEY : A type of long flat pasta not to be confused with "rugger tony".
Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge
| |
...one day when he sees his girlfriend Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells, "Sheila, what the hell dya think youre doing?".Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "Gday Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now Im gonna kill myself." Bruce gets alump in his throat when he hears this. "Sheila," he says "Not only are you a great shag, but youre a real sport too." He drives off.
Important aussie tax info
| |
The only thing that the Australian Taxation Office has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in a hole. On top of that it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1st 2000, your penis will be taxed according to size.
The brackets are as follows:
10-12" Luxury tax $30
8-10" Pole tax $25
5-8" Privilege tax $15
4-5" Nuisance tax $3
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!
We are still waiting answers to the following questions:
1. Are there any penalties for early withdrawal?
2. What if ones penis is self employed?
3. Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
4. Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?
Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
Australian Taxation Office
...goes to the confessional and says, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
"What is your sin, my child?" The Priest asks.
"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language today and I feel so terrible."
"Why dont you tell me what happened. What made you use such awful language?" asked the Priest.
"Well, I was out golfing and I hit this incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but the ball hit a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going about 100 yards."
"Is this when you swore?" asked the Priest.
"No Father," said the man, "You see, after that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
"And this is when you swore?" asked the Father again.
"No, not yet. Just as the squirrel was running away, this eagle came down out of the sky and grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"And it was then that you swore?" asked the amazed Priest.
"No, not yet," replied the man, "just as the eagle was flying away with the squirrel, he flew towards a wooded area next to the green. And as he passed over it,the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear then, my son?" asked the now impatient Priest.
"No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and then rolled through a sand trap, onto the green, and stopped dead 13 inches from the hole!"
The priest sighed and rolled his eyes, "Oh my God, you missed the f....ng putt, didnt you?"
By the time the airman pulled into a little town
| |
..., every hotel room was taken. "Youve got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I dont care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - but hes a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. Im not sure itd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Sergeant assured him. "Ill take it." The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Howd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the airman. "Howd you manage that?" asked the manager. "The squid was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," he explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, Goodnight, beautiful, and he sat up all night watching me!"
It was a sunny Saturday morning
| |
...on the course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. "Would the gentleman on the womans tee back up to the mens tee please!!" I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement, "Would the MAN on the WOMENS tee kindly back up to the mens tee." I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating. Once more the man yelled, "Would the man on the womans tee back up to the mens tee, PLEASE!" I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike and shouted back, "Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut the fuck up and let me play my second shot?"
A couple was on their honeymoon
| |
..., lying in bed about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to her new husband, "I have a confession to make, I am not a virgin." The husband replies, "Thats no big deal in this day and age." The wife continues, "I have been with one guy." The husband asks, "Oh yeah? Whos the guy?" "Tiger Woods, " she replies. "Tiger Woods, the golf pro?" asks the husband. "Yes," replies the wife. "Well, hes rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him," said the groom and then they make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. "What are you doing?" asks his bride. The husband says, "Im hungry. I was going to call room service and get some food." "Tiger wouldnt do THAT!" says his bride. "Oh yeah, what WOULD Tiger do?" asked the husband playfully. "Tiger would come back to bed and do it a second time," coyly replied his bride. With that, the husband puts down the phone and hops back into bed with his bride and makes mad, passionate love to her for the second time that night. When they are finished, he is exhausted and starving, so he gets up and goes over to the phone. His bride once again asks, "What are you doing?" He replies, "Im still hungry so I was going to get room service and get some food." For the second time the wife playfully scolds her groom, "Tiger wouldnt do that." "Oh yeah, what WOULD Tiger do?" the groom asks again, knowing what the answer is. "Tiger would come back to bed and make love to me some more," teases the bride. Not to be outdone by the absent golf pro, the groom sets down the phone and goes back to bed with his wife and makes mad, passionate love to her for the third time that evening. When they are finished, he is tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial. The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?" "No! Im calling Tiger Woods to find out whats par for this damn hole."
Some humor to soothe you during the darkness today...
| |
After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same question: "When you are in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy thinks a minute and replies, "Id like to hear them say......LOOK, HES MOVING!!!!
A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircuit?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and half." Then he leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend
| |
...in the shop and says, "Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looks up and says, "To your house."
A man takes his wife to the stock show
| |
They start heading down the alley that has the bulls. They come up to the first bull, and his sign states: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year; you could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull, and his sign states: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. Thats over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, too." They proceed to the last bull, and his sign says: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wifes mouth drops open, and she says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. Thats ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one." The man, finally fed up with the nagging, turns to his wife and says, "Go ask if it was 365 times with the same cow."
Jones, returning from a business trip
| |
..., was surprised to find his wife in bed with a strange man. Both were nude and looked like they had been doing a lot of hard screwing. "Why, you rotten bastard!" the husband exploded. "Wait darling," said Mrs. Jones. "You know that fur coat I got last winter? This man gave it to me. Remember the diamond necklace you like so much? This man gave it to me. And remember when you couldnt afford a second car and I got a Toyota? This man gave it to me." "For heavens sake, its drafty here!" shouted the husband, "cover him so he doesnt catch cold!"
A white man and a black man
| |
...both worked together. The white man came in late one morning and the black man asked where he had been. The white man said, "My wife gives me good sex every night and she kept me up really late last night". The black man said "I can not get my wife to have sex with me, how do you do it?" The white man says, "I read her poetry every night". The black man asks, "What kind of poetry?" The white man replies, "Blondie, blondie, eyes so blue, oh how I want to make love to you." Then the white man told him to go home and try it. The next morning the black man was about 2 hours late. When he comes in, he has a black eye and his arm was in a sling. The white man asked, "What had happened?" The black man said, "Man, dont ever speak to me again." The white man asked, "Well, what did you say to her?" The black man replied, Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, bend over bitch, Im going to fuck you like a dog!!"
Her car breaks down on the Interstate one day
| |
..., so the driver eases it over onto the shoulder. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing on-coming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pile-ups in history of this highway occurs. Its not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the driver of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the devil is going on here?" "My car broke down," says the lady, calmly. "Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?" screams the cop. "Those are my emergency flashers!" replied the blonde.
|
|
|